The saying of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), “The most complete believers in faith are those with the best manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their women” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi), encapsulates a profound understanding of what it means to embody faith through one’s character and actions. This Hadith emphasizes the essential link between strong faith, excellent character, and respectful treatment of women, underscoring the Prophet’s commitment to promoting moral behavior as an integral part of Islam. Exploring the wisdom embedded in this Hadith offers a deeper understanding of the role of good manners in building a sincere relationship with Allah and fostering harmonious social relations.
The Link Between Faith and Good Character
To begin understanding the Hadith, it is essential to recognize that Islam places immense value on character. Faith is not simply a set of rituals but rather a complete way of life, governing every interaction and action. True faith should manifest in one’s treatment of others, especially those closest to them. In Islam, belief and conduct are intricately intertwined. As the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I was sent to perfect good character” (Sahih al-Bukhari).
This Hadith demonstrates that good character is a fundamental part of one’s faith, not a separate or secondary aspect. A person’s faith is considered incomplete if they lack proper manners, which include kindness, patience, humility, and generosity. This means that developing good character is as much an act of worship as prayer or fasting. Such qualities enable a person to embody the teachings of Islam fully and deepen their relationship with Allah, as they reflect a heart that is softened by faith and inclined toward goodness.
Good Manners as the Essence of Faith
The first part of the Hadith, “The most complete believers in faith are those with the best manners,” indicates that faith is perfected by the refinement of character. This includes how one speaks, interacts, and deals with others, especially during times of difficulty or disagreement. Good manners, in the Islamic tradition, encompass respect, forgiveness, generosity, humility, and patience—virtues that Allah loves and which reflect His own attributes of mercy and compassion.
- Forgiveness and Tolerance: One aspect of good character is the ability to forgive and tolerate the shortcomings of others. Forgiveness is emphasized throughout the Qur’an and the Sunnah. Allah says, “But if you pardon, overlook, and forgive – then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Qur’an 64:14). When a believer forgives, they embody a trait that is beloved by Allah and exemplified by the Prophet, who showed mercy even to his fiercest opponents. By being forgiving, a believer not only perfects their faith but also frees themselves from resentment, thereby fostering peace within their hearts.
- Patience and Perseverance: Good manners also include patience, especially when facing life’s trials or dealing with difficult individuals. The Prophet (ﷺ) displayed unparalleled patience and endurance throughout his life. By practicing patience, a believer strengthens their faith, embodying trust in Allah’s wisdom and timing. This patience is not limited to major life challenges but extends to the daily interactions where patience is often tested, such as during disagreements or misunderstandings.
- Humility and Kindness: Humility is another characteristic that reflects good manners in Islam. It means not elevating oneself over others and showing kindness even to those who may not reciprocate it. The Qur’an describes the righteous as those who “walk humbly upon the earth” (Qur’an 25:63), a quality that not only strengthens communal bonds but also reflects a deep consciousness of Allah.
Treatment of Women as a Measure of True Character
The second part of the Hadith, “the best of you are those who are best to their women,” reinforces the importance of kindness and respect in personal relationships, specifically within marriage. In Islam, marriage is considered a sacred covenant and a source of tranquility. Allah says, “And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy” (Qur’an 30:21). The Prophet emphasized kindness in marriage as a reflection of one’s piety, establishing that one’s treatment of their spouse is a key indicator of their moral integrity.
- Elevating the Status of Women: At the time of the Prophet, women in Arabian society often faced oppression and were deprived of basic rights. Islam revolutionized the status of women by ensuring them equal spiritual worth, legal rights, and respect. This Hadith reflects the Prophet’s dedication to uplifting the status of women, emphasizing that the true measure of a believer is in their treatment of those in their care. By stating that “the best of you” are those who treat their women well, the Prophet dismantled any notion of superiority or dominance based on gender, elevating kindness as the ideal standard of behavior.
- Empathy and Support in Marriage: Marriage, according to Islamic teachings, is a partnership built on mutual respect, understanding, and empathy. The Prophet’s life serves as a model for this principle. He was known for his gentleness toward his wives, his support in household matters, and his understanding of their emotional and physical needs. This behavior reflects the Prophet’s understanding that empathy is crucial for building a strong marital relationship. When he was asked about his wife Khadijah, he fondly spoke of her as his friend and confidante, demonstrating that the relationship between husband and wife should be one of mutual respect and appreciation.
- Conflict Resolution and Compassion: The Prophet demonstrated that the ideal way to handle conflict with one’s spouse is through compassion and understanding. One incident that exemplifies this is when Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) once felt jealous and upset. The Prophet (ﷺ) responded with patience, acknowledging her feelings rather than reacting harshly. This approach highlights the importance of managing conflicts with gentleness, recognizing that patience and mercy can foster love and respect. This attitude contrasts with arrogance or dominance, as Allah warns believers to avoid oppressive behavior within the home (Qur’an 4:19).
The Spiritual Rewards of Good Character
The Prophet’s words in this Hadith encourage believers to see good character as a path to higher spiritual reward. Developing good character is not only beneficial for interpersonal relationships but also brings the believer closer to Allah. In another Hadith, the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Nothing will be heavier on the Day of Resurrection in the Scale of deeds than good character” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2002). Here, the Prophet links good character directly with the hereafter, suggesting that refining one’s manners is a means to eternal success.
- Increasing One’s Faith: The process of developing good manners naturally strengthens faith. Good character requires an awareness of Allah’s presence and an understanding of His commands, both of which deepen a person’s iman (faith). Each act of kindness or patience reminds the believer of Allah’s pleasure, strengthening their connection with Him.
- Fostering Inner Peace: When a person embodies good character, they experience inner tranquility and contentment. By forgiving, being patient, and treating others kindly, one rids their heart of malice and envy, allowing for a more serene state of mind. This peace enhances one’s worship, making acts of devotion feel more sincere and fulfilling.
- Becoming Beloved to Allah: Good character not only benefits a person’s inner state but also makes them beloved to Allah. In the Qur’an, Allah says, “Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly” (Qur’an 60:8). By embodying virtues that Allah loves, such as justice, kindness, and patience, believers align themselves with Allah’s commands, drawing closer to His love.
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The Prophet as a Model of Excellent Character
Throughout his life, the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) exemplified the highest standards of good character. His interactions with his family, friends, and even adversaries were marked by patience, compassion, and respect. He said, “I am the best among you to my family” (Sunan Ibn Majah). This statement reminds believers that good character starts at home, where our truest selves are most often revealed.
- Generosity and Kindness: The Prophet was known for his generosity, especially toward his family. He would spend time with his wives, listen to their concerns, and show them love and appreciation. His kind treatment set an example for how Muslim men should treat the women in their lives, not as dependents but as equal partners deserving of respect.
- Gentleness in Advice and Correction: When correcting mistakes or offering advice, the Prophet used gentle language and never resorted to harshness or humiliation. In one instance, when his wife Safiyyah was saddened by a hurtful comment, he consoled her by reminding her of her noble lineage. This sensitivity to her feelings demonstrated his understanding and respect, encouraging believers to offer kindness even when advising loved ones.
- Respect and Understanding: Even during moments of disagreement, the Prophet maintained respect for his wives and family members. His sensitivity toward their feelings and his ability to listen and respond thoughtfully reveal a model of love and respect that every believer can aspire to in their own family life.
Conclusion: Living by the Prophet’s Example
The Hadith, “The most complete believers in faith are those with the best manners, and the best of you are those who are best to their women,” calls us to a higher standard of behavior, emphasizing that faith is more than belief—it is reflected in our actions and interactions with others. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) demonstrated this truth by showing that good character enhances faith and that respectful, kind treatment of women is a measure of true righteousness.
As we strive to embody this Hadith in our daily lives, we are reminded that each act of kindness, patience, or respect not only brings us closer to Allah but also contributes to a more just and compassionate world. By following the Prophet’s teachings, we not only fulfill our duty as Muslims but also cultivate relationships that are filled with love, respect, and understanding.
